I’m standing on the verge of one of my life’s biggest and most important shifts. I have felt this transition coming for a long time. I have wanted it badly. I have worked hard and made sacrifices and prayed and cried and doubted and learned and grew.
And now it’s finally here.
I read a quote once that somehow perfectly described the way I constantly seem to feel:
“I like airplanes.
I like anywhere that isn’t a proper place.
I like in-betweens.”
– Neil Gaiman
And it’s true. I do. I love in-betweens. The journey, not the destination. Thinking about all the people around you in an airport, all heading to different locations. The space between here and there. It fascinates me. It’s what keeps me constantly searching and yearning and changing.
But I understand that a lot of people, in fact maybe most people, do not like change and most certainly do not like the in-betweens of life. They like certainty and security. Definites and sureties. Which I can understand. There is comfort and stability in that.
So, I figured I’d offer some insight on how I get through the in-betweens. How I’ve learned not only to survive them but to love them and even need them.
1. See it as an adventure
You may not believe it, but I tend to shy away from adventure. I’m not one to go rock climbing, sky diving, or spend all day on roller coasters. I like feeling safe and sure and protected. So, I seek my adventure in other ways.
My adventures have been in driving across the United States four times, moving to cities where I didn’t know anyone, without a job, and starting my own business. Every single one of these things was terrifying because of the unknowns. But I saw every single one of them as an adventure and it changed everything.
Think of it this way. Most everything we deeply want in life — our biggest dreams — all require us to step into the unknown, at least for a little while. So, let’s keep our mind open to all the wonderful things that can happen during the in-between. Because, chances are, we’ll look back on it later in life as an adventure, yearning for that feeling again.
2. Remember that everything happens for a reason
I know this one can be easier said than done but it’s so very true. When things don’t happen when we want or expect them to, there is a reason for it. Trust that.
Trust that the Universe is working in your favor. Look for the lessons in the in-between. What can you be learning or perfecting during this time? How can you be bettering yourself or preparing yourself for all that’s to come?
3. Place your focus elsewhere temporarily
We will drive ourselves mad if we sit around all day worrying and obsessing over getting to the destination, what ever or wherever that may be. Find somewhere else to place your focus and energy in the meantime.
I’ve learned how vital it is when working toward our dreams to set our focus and then hand it over. To create a vision in our minds or perhaps a vision board that very clearly captures what it is that we want and how we want our lives to feel. But the Law of Attraction also teaches us that we must not force it or control it. We cannot set the time limit. So instead, we must hand it over to the Universe and keep our energy positive by doing things that support us.
If your in-between is career-related, find a class to take or volunteer somewhere that will give you experience. If your in-between is love-related, nurture yourself by taking up a new hobby or starting a new weekly ritual for yourself.
4. Remember why you started
This moment that you’re in right now could be very scary. Whether you’re waiting for your business to take off, or waiting until you can move to a new city, or waiting for the phone call from the company you’ve been interviewing with, or waiting for the moment when you meet your life partner, remind yourself why you want it so badly in the first place.
It will make the waiting worth it. It will turn the in-between from scary to bittersweet.
When we remember why we started, we shift our perspective and our attitude. We open up to possibility again. We feel the excitement and the confidence and tenacity all over again. Our enthusiasm becomes renewed again.
When I was planning a move months and months before I could actually move, I spent time creating a vision board of what I wanted my life to look and feel like once I moved and made a Spotify playlist that evoked the way I felt when I was in that city. So, every time my end goal felt so far away, I’d just glance at my vision board or put on the playlist and suddenly I was reminded that everything was truly going to work out. I’d be there in due time. And that it would all be so worth it.
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Sometimes life’s in-betweens make us feel as though we are a bird sitting in a cage with the door wide open, the only thing preventing us from flying is often ourselves. We’re waiting for the perfect time, waiting until we’re ready or are no longer scared. But, the truth is, that’s exactly the moment when we are meant to fly out of the cage.
Stop waiting until you’re ready and stop waiting for the perfect moment. You’ll be waiting forever.
If there’s something you’ve been waiting to do, set your intention and then give it to the Universe. But trust and promise yourself that when you feel the fire burning within you to go, to fly, to take the leap out of the safe in-between, that you will listen and you will go.
For personalized help with getting through life’s in-betweens, I am currently taking new life coaching clients. My coaching sessions will teach you empowering tools to take with you through life, and so much more. You can find all the details here.
If you haven’t already, sign up here to get a copy of my eBook which will teach you 5 ways to overcome fear of the unknown when taking the road less traveled. These lessons will help guide you through these times that can be scary and a bit unnerving.