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Grief + Loss

Happy Birthday Mom in Heaven – 2015

Happy Birthday Mom in Heaven | Chelsea Dinen

Another year, another birthday without Mom. Today marks the fourth birthday of hers since she passed away. I can’t believe all the time that has gone by, yet the shock that she is really gone still remains. I’ve written a blog post every year on my mom’s birthday. Not only to honor her but also as a way to show support to all of the other motherless daughters who are hurting or unsure what to do on their mother’s birthday once she has passed on.

Here is last year’s post: Happy Birthday Mom in Heaven

Instead of creating a list of how you can honor your Mom on her birthday, as I did last year, today I feel prompted to talk to you about self love and self-care.

I lost my mother quite unexpectedly at a time in my life when I needed my mother most. My world was turned upside down.

In my coaching sessions, I teach my clients that you have two choices when tragedy strikes in your life:

1. You can let the tragedy define you and slip into a toxic cycle of becoming a victim to your circumstances.

OR

2. You can grab your life by the reins and, through practicing self-care and staying dedicated to the quality of your life, you can make your life whatever you want it to be.

Tragedies in life can become the catalyst for our deepest transformation.

That is, if we allow them to.

Again, it is vital for us to take the reins, and take our power back instead of becoming a victim to our circumstances. Death is beyond our control. It’s on The Universe’s timeline and, sadly, when we lose someone we love, we cannot bring them back.

We must grieve their loss every single day and choose to go on living our own life more FULLY and CONSCIOUSLY than ever before.

That means CHOOSING to value our own life, love ourselves, and honor our deepest passions and dreams in life moving forward.

What have you always wanted to do but have put off?

What dreams have been beaming in your heart?

What vision for your life do you see that you’ve yet to live?

Now is the time.

For me, it was deciding to stop putting off my dream of moving to San Diego.

I knew life was too short to put off my dreams any longer.

When my mom suddenly passed away, and after some of the initial shock wore off, I quit my job and moved. I followed my heart. I had just turned 26 and decided to start living for myself instead of by the expectations of my loved ones, peers, and society. After my mom died, I knew that life was too short not to try.

Watching my mom die changed everything.

I was awakened.

I stopped going through the motions.

And I chose to live FULLY and CONSCIOUSLY, moving forward every single day.

I hope the same for you.

So, if today is your mother’s birthday and you’re not sure what to do to honor the most important woman in your life now that she has passed on, I encourage you to look within. How can you better nurture yourself? How can you show up for yourself on a more regular basis? What do you need to let go of? What do you need to allow in? (Hint: Help, love, and support from other people)

As you reflect back today on your mother while celebrating her life, also reflect back on your own. After all, your mother gave you the greatest gift of all — life!

Ask yourself what have you learned since you lost her? How have you grown? Perhaps even write a letter to your mom today, explaining to her how far you’ve come.

And, as always, remember that she watches over you. She still guides you. She still visits with you from time to time. Open yourself up to feel her spirit with you. Feel her energy around you and breathe that in like a warm embrace.

For help with self love, dream conquering, and moving forward in a positive light, I work one-on-one with spiritual women and you can read more about these offerings on my coaching page, here.


 

Today, on my own mom’s birthday, I celebrate the gift my mom had for making home really, truly feel like ‘home.’ I celebrate how hard she pushed me for it has given me the drive and independence I have today. I celebrate her strong will and impeccable wit. Her loving hug that I will never, ever forget for it is the one hug that kept me going in the face of many a disappointment. For her support in so many of my endeavors and for her critiques in many of my other endeavors, for she showed me how strong my own will is. I celebrate her life and the way her energy captivated everyone in the room.

But most important of all, I thank God for matching me with the incredible, dedicated soul that my mother was (and still is.) I am honored beyond words to be able to call her my mother, my sweet Mom. Our bond continues and I live everyday more fully and consciously than I ever did before.

To the strongest, most beautiful woman I know…

I love you, Mama. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Mom in Heaven | Chelsea Dinen

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Malinda Meadows
    June 30, 2015 at 8:21 PM

    Hi Chelsea,

    Thank you so incredibly much for this post. I initially came across your page on Pinterest, as I was searching for tips on cross-country moves. I am currently planning to move from Ohio to Oregon and trying to soak in all the tips I can.

    But when I was re-directed to your site, this is the first post I saw. I too, lost my mother unexpectedly on the day of my 24th birthday. I grieve for her so heavily, as she was a person, like your mother, whose energy could light up any room she walked into. She was my best friend and it has left such a whole in my heart.

    But your words have resonated in me in such a way that I had to reach out to you. While friends are always trying their best to help, yet it is such a profound experience of losing a parent at a young age that your peers cannot understand as much as they try. As you mentioned, I now too wake up every day with the knowledge of the acuity and fragility of life. Which is also why I decided that I am going to pick up my belongings, and move thousands of miles away to a city where I know not a soul.

    But I went to Oregon in September for the first time and felt a strange sense of peace. I’m not sure why, but it is worth exploring right?

    Thanks again for sharing and allowing others to find comfort in your word.

    Sincerely,

    Malinda

    • Reply
      Chelsea Dinen
      September 16, 2015 at 11:45 AM

      Hi Malinda!

      I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. I truly can’t thank you enough for your heartfelt comment. Your words were absolutely beautiful. I love the way you write! Knowing I’ve reached other women who not only lost their mothers but are also taking life by the reigns and making big moves, despite how scary it can be, brings everything full circle as it’s is exactly the reason I designed this space.

      For people like you to know you’re never alone and that you’re always capable of what’s deep within your heart. In fact, as you mentioned, it’s usually those strange coincidences or unexpected feelings and hunches that hit us that take us exactly where we’re meant to be. I am so thrilled for you and your move to Oregon. I’m cheering you on as you take this big leap. That you feel endless peace, fulfillment, and your mother’s presence in every moment. Please keep me updated on your move once you settle in! I’d love to hear how everything goes.

      Much love,
      Chelsea

  • Reply
    Lacy Danyele
    September 6, 2015 at 2:15 PM

    Thanks so much for your words of wisdom, I also found your blog through Pinterest when I was searching for cross country moving tips. I’m planning on moving from Virginia to California in January and start a new adventure. I too lost my mother a few years ago when I was 20 and this blog was very comforting to know that there are others dealing with the same situation. I found it very motivating and inspiring, keep up the good work :)
    -Lacy

    • Reply
      Chelsea Dinen
      September 16, 2015 at 11:50 AM

      Hi Lacy! I’m so glad you found my blog and thank you for your sweet comment. Oh, your journey sounds so much like mine! I left VA for CA in December. There’s something beautifully refreshing about moving around that time of year. And winter in California is my favorite :) I hope this journey of moving helps you grow, learn, and heal in ways you’ve yet to experience. It opened me up to so much and I have no doubt it will do the same for you. Your mother will be with you every step of the way. Please keep me updated once you move and let me know how everything is going! Wishing you the best of luck on your new adventure.

      Much love,
      Chelsea

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