I should have known better. I should have known better than to stray from my truth. To stray so outside of my own being that I began to slowly melt into something that I knew I was not. I began to push aside my true desires and values, second-guessing them. Shrugging my shoulders. Wondering if maybe it was because I just hadn’t given other things a chance before.
A woman who took years of her life to discover her truth and now here she was second-guessing it all? Because of another person.
Deep down, in this inner pocket of my soul that’s so buried in there it’s hard for me to find the words to describe it, there was this feeling. A feeling, a sense, an inner knowing. I knew that it was not right. It was not for me. This person. This relationship. I knew that it would never develop into the connection that my soul was capable of. But, being the stubborn Capricorn that I am, I forged ahead anyway.
And every second felt like a struggle. In some sense, in some way, it never felt natural. There was always some thread of my being that pulled at me. I continued to resist the pull, hurling myself forward until finally I ripped the tether loose. And I fell.
We are born with free will and it is that free will that allows us to either choose for ourselves (our truth, our inner knowing, our innate being) or to choose for something or someone else. We are constantly barraged by social media, advertising, and the views of our peers and family members to look a certain way, get married by a certain age, and have A, B, and C before we may be deemed “successful.” And sometimes, those outside pressures coupled with our ego mind (the voice in our head full of fear, worry, scarcity, etc.) cause us to act outside of our truth. In other words, we do something that’s not true to who we are.
And every time that happens, at some point or another, we fall. We choose to pursue a romantic partner whose values and goals aren’t truly compatible with our own. We accept a job we know will lead to stress and burnout. We say “yes” to going out with friends when all we want is to cuddle up on the couch with a book.
Well, guess what happens when we do those things. We usually end up with a broken heart, a stressed out lifestyle, or disappointment. (And a couple “I told ya so’s” and lessons learned too.)
When we’re not true to ourselves, we fall. In one way or another, we fall. And it hurts and we’re bruised and we brush ourselves off and learn. We’re human. We make mistakes. It’s okay. But the most important thing to remember from that fall is the lesson:
Always remain true to yourself. Always.
This will lead me into my next post that will soon follow – on the true meaning and importance of authenticity. Until then, sending a big ole hug out to you. Yes, YOU. It’s not always easy to make the decisions that will best honor our truth but I have faith in you. Have faith in yourself. You are different from any other being on this planet. You are unique. Embrace that.
Invest in yourself today. Let’s work together.
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