How I Stay Grounded While Living Abroad
As I approach the three month mark of living abroad in Berlin, Germany, I’ve been reflecting on some of the struggles and triumphs when it comes to staying grounded. As a creative, life coach, and advocate for intentional living, I’m always trying my best to stay true to myself instead of letting life get away from me.
As I’m sure you can imagine, uprooting your life to move to a foreign-speaking country can be especially unsettling. It takes a while to adjust to the culture, the climate, the people, and the lifestyle. (You can read about how I’m adjusting to life in Berlin here.) You’re thrown into life abroad headfirst. And, if you’re moving entirely on your own, you really might begin to feel the harsh effects of a move so bold.
Such was the case for me. The list of things to do after moving to a new country is endless and without family, a significant other, or an employer to help (as I’m self-employed), I often found myself feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Luckily, I had prepared myself ahead of time and expected a move of this magnitude to lead to stress.
So, here are some of my takeaways after nearly three months living abroad and trying to balance it all. Here’s how I managed to stay afloat during a time of inner and outer turmoil during the journey of a new language, new culture, apartment hunting in a foreign country, and the not-so-delightful process of securing a Visa.
GET INVOLVED
The first week of living in Berlin, I had already signed up for German class which would start the following week and RSVPed to an internationals meetup on Meetup.com. I made plans with a friend I had met through blogging/Instagram, and bought a German SIM card so that I had a local number to give to new friends I made.
Not putting this off was hugely beneficial. As an introvert, making friends has never come easily to me and I knew that if I didn’t just bite the bullet and try to make some connections right away, I’d put it off. Instead, I made some new friends right away and continued with the language classes which helped me make more friends the next month. The point here is to really make connecting with others a priority from the beginning because having that support when things get tough will be so helpful.
HAVE “YOU” TIME
On the flip side of that, I started to get burned out with all of the social activities. I was hardly ever home to enjoy my beautiful Berlin flat! Again, as an introvert, I know I need my alone time to recharge. So, be sure to schedule that in there too. Taking time to just be on your own, decompress, and process all of the big changes that are taking place in your life is vital. You are bound to feel overwhelmed from time to time and having “you” time to turn inward and focus on what your mind and body are trying to tell you is really going to help you in the long run.
So, for every couple of social activities or outings you schedule, schedule in an allotted period of time for yourself as well. Get lost in a good book (see my top book recommendations here), try making a recipe, dive into a new Netflix series, or go for a walk (more on that below).
The point here is to make time for a little solitude. Make time. Because if your journey living abroad is anything like mine, your time will feel stretched and your self-care will be the one thing you don’t make time for. But the truth is, without caring for ourselves first, we can’t show up fully for all the other things demanding our time and energy. This will lead to exhaustion, illness, and stress. So, don’t forget to make yourself a priority too. You’ll need extra space to process all of the big life changes. Trust me.
GO FOR LONG WALKS
Speaking of “you” time, one of my favorite ways to not only decompress but to also get to know my new city is to go for long walks. I love to download a podcast or my Classical Concentration playlist on Spotify, turn off the cellular data on my phone so no one can reach me, and then just see where the wind carries me. A lot of the time I’ll take my camera with me to snap some photos along the way. The activity of taking photos takes my mind off what ever stressors might be affecting me at the time. I can just unplug and be in the moment.
There’s also something to be said about the smell of fresh air. It’s deeply refreshing. The seasons are beginning to change from Summer to Autumn here in Berlin and on my recent walk through the Gardens of the Charlottenburg Palace, the first few leaves had already fallen and oh how I love the sound of walking through a pile of leaves :)
There’s something so therapeutic about long walks. It’s one of my favorite activities to help me feel more grounded because I’m getting outside but also taking time to either just let my mind wander or listen to a helpful podcast or some beautiful music. It allows me to take in the sights and sounds of my surroundings and also do some people watching!
CREATE A SLOW MORNING ROUTINE
I admit, for the first month or two of living abroad, I did not have any daily or weekend routines. I hit the ground running when I arrived in Berlin. At the beginning, you have a lot on your plate and it’s understandable why sitting down each morning to journal and enjoy a cup of tea just isn’t at the top of your list of priorities.
However, I was beginning to feel overwhelmed and the need for some real grounding in my day-to-day life was continuing to weigh on me. I set out to buy a new journal as I had to leave my old journal back in the States. (Find out everything I did bring with me to Germany here.) So, off I went to the iconic KaDeWe to buy this beautiful journal.
Now, you may have read before about the time when I practiced The Miracle Morning. If not, you can read all of my morning routine posts here. When I first moved to Berlin, it took about a full month to truly adjust to the time change, especially having much longer Summer days (the sky wasn’t fully dark until after 11:00pm when I moved here but the sun was peeking through my windows the next morning at 5:00am.) Once I adjusted, I decided to commit to waking up a bit earlier to allow myself that extra hour for my slow morning routine.
And let me tell you… it makes such a difference to start my morning with intention and tranquility. There’s a sense of calm no matter how overwhelming or stressful everything else in life may feel at the time. It’s a time I really look forward to and I think that’s something important to have in order to keep yourself grounded. Not only a moment of quiet but a moment you truly look forward to each day.
HAVE SOMETHING TO REMIND YOU OF HOME
Whether you have scheduled phone calls each week with a parent or best friend back at home or have regular meetups with new expat friends at a restaurant that serves food from back home, it’s helpful to have something to remind you of where you came from. Maybe there’s a certain park or part of town that reminds you of home.
It’s that actual feeling of home that you want to re-create in your new country, as best as possible. It won’t be the same of course but I’ve found having a sense of familiarity can be so helpful in those times when you don’t really feel like yourself or you begin to feel a bit homesick. For me, being from the Washington, D.C. area, I feel the most at home walking through museums and strolling around historical grounds. It was something I noticed the last time I was at Charlottenburg Palace actually. Strolling through the gardens, I realized it reminded me of the many times I’ve strolled through George Washington’s Mount Vernon. I immediately felt a sense of comfort and a connection to home after that.
Be patient with yourself. It’s entirely normal to feel off balance from time to time now that you’re living abroad. After all, you’ve completely uprooted your life! Trust that it will take time to integrate but in the meantime, you can be gentle with yourself. I’ve found that instead of waiting until things get chaotic, it’s been helpful to integrate the above recommendations into my life each week.
Feel free to follow my expat journey in Berlin over on Instagram @ChelseaDinen
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