Today would have been my mom’s birthday. The truth is, it still is her birthday. When you lose your mom, so many days of the year hold such importance for you now – Your birthday, Mother’s Day, her birthday, various other holidays spent with family. And there’s always something missing on those days. Prior to her death, I had never really thought about what her birthday would be like once she was no longer here. Today is her third birthday since she passed into the next life, into Heaven, into the spirit world.
I wanted to write something for all those who have also lost their mother. Those who feel her birthday approaching days and weeks ahead, unsure how to feel, what to think, what to do. These are some things that have helped me over the years:
1. Celebrate her birthday as if she were still here.
Many of my family members, including myself, have had a reading from a psychic medium in which my sweet mom came through. In every reading, my mom mentioned birthdays and how she wanted her own to be celebrated. She wants it to be a day of happiness, celebration, life. A day that she was remembered for her laughter, jokes, and beautiful smile. Even though your mom may no longer be alive, her birthday will always be her special day. Her spirit will be all around you that day (in fact, I’ve heard spirits love birthdays!) Throw her a party! That’s what my family has chosen to do this year.
2. Do something in honor of her on that day.
Wear her favorite color. Go to her favorite restaurant. Eat her favorite meal for dinner. Play her favorite song. Get a tattoo in memory of her. Plant new flowers at her grave. Write her a letter or a card.
3. Get a reading from a psychic medium.
I know I mentioned it earlier, and as someone who believes in and has experienced mediumship, I highly recommend scheduling a session with a medium yourself when you are ready. It is suggested that you wait until you have fully grieved so that you will be open to whatever may come through for you in your reading. Having a reading can bring so much clarity, peace of mind, and love back into your life after losing a loved one, especially your mom. I highly recommend booking a session with Barb Mallon. She is the real deal, a joy to work with, and offers several different types of sessions (She is based in the DC area but offers readings over the phone too!) What a special way to celebrate your mom by having a reading on or around her birthday!
4. Allow yourself to be.
Grief is a tricky emotion. It can hit us when we least expect it. Be open to whatever comes up for you that day. If you wake up on the morning of her birthday and all you can think about is how badly you want to hug her, then feel that. Allow the tears to fall. Or, if you wake up on her birthday and you’re overcome with joy, allow yourself to feel that too. There’s no need to feel guilty for having a smile on your face that day. In fact, it’s probably your mom’s way of coming through to celebrate.
5. Remember that she loves you.
She is, and always will be, your sweet mom. Just as your birthday is a celebration of your birth and life, her birthday is a celebration of her birth, life, and legacy. She may have left this Earth but she can always help guide you, if you are open to it. She is cheering you on, encouraging you, loving you endlessly. However you choose to celebrate your mom’s birthday after she has passed on, may it bring you comfort and a sense of celebration. Reflect back on the life she lived and the lessons she taught you. Incorporate who she was – her essence, her personality, her hobbies and gifts into your life and the life of your family.
To my sweet mom: Every single day you’re on my mind. Some days it’s still so hard to believe. To process. To understand. I’m not sure I ever will. All I can say is how much you mean to me. How deeply your life has impacted mine and how losing you changed how I live. I want more than anything to hug you today, feel you in my arms, and sway back and forth. To hear your sweet voice. To have you by my side as we celebrate you; all you’ve done, all you’ve conquered, sacrificed, taught, and accomplished. Your life still amazes me. And your love will never be forgotten.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
You can find my 2015 version of Happy Birthday Mom in Heaven, by clicking here.
Other posts on grief & loss:
What are you doing this year to honor your mother on her birthday? Share in the comments below!
If you’re here reading this because you too have lost your mom, I send you my deepest wishes of love and comfort. No matter how many years or birthdays pass by, I know the pain that floods your heart as you go on without her. I work one-on-one with spiritual women (and men!) who are ready to transform their life — cultivating peace, purpose, and a deepened sense of connection and clarity. To learn more about working with me, head on over to my coaching page.
Invest in yourself today. Let’s work together.
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