In my time of mourning and days of grieving, I turned inward. Deeply. I look back at the young woman I was before my mom died. I was so caught up in everything going on around me. I tried being the person I thought the world wanted me to be instead of being the person I wanted to be. I let things outside of me determine what was going on inside of me. When she died, that changed everything.
I turned inward. I got to know the girl inside of me again and grew into the path I wanted to walk as a woman. It was hard not having my mom by my side as I finally started to step into my own. Rather, it IS hard. I’m still learning. Every single day. That’s what happens when you lose your mother. You have to learn to live without her. Learn what it means for you to be alive but separate from her.
You have to learn to live again.
And turning inward has been the best way for me to do that. Instead of filling the void with a busy social life or jumping into relationships or numbing myself with toxic substances or denying the fact that my mother was dead and my life was completely changing, I simply took my time to just be.
And that is what allowed me to learn to live again.
Give yourself permission to do the same.
To turn down the invite.
To unplug yourself from the 24/7 barrage of social media and what everyone else is doing.
To turn inward.
To re-learn yourself.
To be patient with yourself.
To be comfortable in your own company.
To just be.
Give yourself permission. There’s so much ‘negative talk’ about just spending time alone. People refer to it as withdrawal or being anti-social but, take it from me, there is nothing wrong with taking time to yourself. Getting to know yourself again after suffering such a tremendous loss is a feat that many have not had to go through yet. Whether it has only been a few days since you lost your loved one, or it’s been a few years, some time alone may be just what you need. It’s an adjustment period and there is no right or wrong way to feel through your grief.
When you suffer a major loss in your life, instead of turning to something else “out there” to fill the void, ease the pain, bandage the wounds… turn inward.
The time spent getting to know yourself again will be much more worthwhile.